This belief of refraining from claiming to be right underlies my world view. You might say it is the very foundation upon which all of my values are built. When I wander astray, as I often do, this thought process always brings me back to center. In this particular instance I delved much deeper into the logic behind the thought. And, as often is the case, it began with a question.
How are we benefited by focusing on who is right or what is right? By even considering it to be something of any relevance? Alright so we've decided; we are right. Now what? Well, naturally, we go about proclaiming we are right (if not out loud, then quietly to ourselves in our minds), alienating those whom we now believe, by our decision to proclaim our own selves right, to be wrong. Through this alienation we may have consequently thrown away a potentially valuable source of new ideas, perspectives and knowledge. After all, who among us would be inclined to lend our thoughts to someone who deems us wrong? I'm sure we can all agree that we are guaranteed not to be right about everything (I would argue anything). That person we just alienated may have some great ideas about something we're struggling with; about how to save our marriage, get our kid to stop using, or help grandma recover from her stroke and remember who we are again. But there is much more to this than simply avoiding pushing away others who may have good ideas, or closing ourselves off to different perspectives. This 'not thinking we are right' business is more than just being open minded and reaping the benefits. What we are talking about here is the total inhibition of our ability to become what we were intended to be. Thinking we are right, about anything, keeps us from becoming fully human.
That's kind of heavy, so maybe we should shift down a gear and figure out what we're talking about. What on earth is fully human? How can we be more human than we are? We were born humans, not incomplete, half-humans; that would be absurd. This state we are in now, that's what a human is. We are what we are, are we not?
We certainly are. However, as a whole, we are mistaken about what it means to be human, about our inherent nature, and about the erroneous assumption about the state we are in now. It is widely held that human nature makes us inherently self-centered and prone to the lesser passions of pride, greed, hate, deception, revenge, etc. A simple experiment will show this to be absolutely false. First, let's start a terrible rumor about someone we don't like. Now, let's give this same person bus money on a day they didn't have enough change. Which of these acts makes us feel good? Therein lies our answer to what human nature really is; what being fully human really is. If it is our nature, then reason tells us it should make us feel good. Why would it be our nature to do things that, while maybe giving us a fleeting sense of satisfaction, ultimately make us feel bad? This perspective defies logic. We are not inherently 'evil' and self-serving. We are quite the opposite. Our natural inclination to feel empathy for one another is a glaring testament to this fact. But from a very young age we are taught by our society to forget this.
I am proposing here that life is a struggle to transform ourselves into what we were intended to be: pure love. We are obviously not there yet. Some may ask, "Why is it a struggle to be something that is supposedly in our nature?" Because we forgot our nature. We forgot how to be human. The struggle is in the remembering. Pride, arrogance, and the simple belief that our view is superior to another are road blocks to this cause. They are the experience and the perpetuation of the forgetting. Whether it is our intent or not, these thought processes put us on a perceived higher level than others, making it impossible to love. Can we agree that to love is to give oneself entirely to another? Is this a fair definition? If so, how can we possibly be able to love absolutely when we are lording something, anything, over the other? Even something as seemingly insignificant as believing our way of training the dog is the right way can put us over on another, and we will always see that person as slightly inferior. Love is not possible with this mindset. I'm giving all of myself to you...except for the dog training part, because you're wrong about that part. By the definition above, this is not love.
If our objective in this life is to become fully human and exemplify our natural and intended state of pure love, then wouldn't we be better served focusing not on who or what is right, but instead on what we're learning, who we can help along the way, and what is standing in our way? What is standing in our way?
On a macro level it is the very nature of our fallen state. Our fallen state is not our natural state; it is a state where we find it easier to be negative than positive, easier to judge than accept, easier to despise than to love. It is our forgetfulness of who we are meant to be. It is our separation from God, or Pure Love. We have forgotten how to love relentlessly without condition or discrimination. We are separated from Love Itself. It is not a permanent split, however, as we have been given all the tools we need for our salvation, for making our way back to Love: our thoughts, our feelings, and our free will.
On a micro level, or a personal level, what keeps us separate from love is our own pride--our own audacious belief that we could possibly be right and better and more worthy than anyone or anything. To be right is to make a judgement about someone or something. But who are we to judge? Does it not make sense that only a perfect, infallible being, incapable of being judged, is worthy of passing any judgement on anything and anyone? This is where our own audacity and arrogance is startling. We are so far from perfect, yet we pass judgement constantly, and act as if we are entitled to do so--as if there is nothing wrong with this equation. You show me my skinned knee; I'll show you your black eye. What have we accomplished here? Not a one of us is fit to judge even the tiniest of discrepancies when all of us have our own box o' discrepancies staring us in the face. Who are we to judge when we will not look in the mirror and promptly judge ourselves? This is what is meant by pointing out the speck in our brother's eye while saying nothing of the splinter in our own. The magnitude of the splinter or the speck is of no relevance. We are all fit to be judged, in other words, we all have our faults, our sins; and therefore we are all unfit to judge others.
We've posed the idea that it makes sense that only a perfect being is fit to judge anything, anyone, at anytime. Yet, even this statement is erroneous. Or rather, the implication that such a being would judge is erroneous. For if a being is perfect--pure indiscriminate love--then, by simple logic, this being would not pass judgment on anything. We can all agree now that judgment is not love; it is in fact completely contrary to love, yes? Is love not unconditional, eternal acceptance? So if a perfect being, God, is pure love (and He is), then God does not judge. God's 'judgment' is not judgment at all, but a personal decision we make followed by the natural consequences of that decision. We do not displease God.
Wait a tick, what was that again? That's huge. That statement can flip entire religions on their heads. Let's revisit that statement and let it really sink in.
We do not displease God...ever.
This means nothing we do displeases or angers or disappoints God in any way, shape or form. When we steal, hurt, lie, cheat, kill, rape, slaughter, blaspheme--God is not displeased. Well now wait a minute, those are pretty terrible things! How can they not displease God? Because God is Pure Love, and God is unchanging. He is, was and ever shall be. To be displeased or to disapprove is to cease to be pure love and to change; and God cannot not be pure love, or God would not be God. God does not judge because judgment is outside of love. Love always accepts. Always. Or it wouldn't be love at all.
So what's the point? We can do whatever we want and God will love us all the same? God will love the murderer the same as the priest? Absolutely. Well that's not fair! Isn't it though? Isn't it fair that every one of us is loved absolutely, with no exception? Fairness is a concern only to those who would pass judgment and declare that there is a right way. So yes, we can continue to do the things which make us feel bad, continue to judge and condemn, continue to separate ourselves from Love Itself and continue to live in suffering; and God will love us just the same. But the catch is that we will not experience that love as love. We will experience suffering instead because these things are contrary to love, contrary to God; and to be separated from Love Itself is to suffer greatly. It is in fact the cause of our current state. Life was not meant to be suffering. In fact there is no reason at all for any one of us to suffer. We need only to remember what we were meant to be and use our free will to deprogram ourselves back to our natural state. There is not a right way, but there is a way to Love and a way from Love. To Love will naturally bring happiness. Away will bring suffering.
Life was meant to be happy. So go make someone happy.
thank You and God bless
bryan
Dec 12, 2008
Nov 9, 2008
Fearfully Doubting...or Doubtingly Fearful
This is the first thing I've written (not including frivolous and irrelevant college papers) in a long time, so be gentle, or harsh; whichever you think will benefit me most.
I have been struggling with issues of motivation, confidence, and self worth lately. I put this fact out there only as a basis for this train of thought you, the reader, are about to take a ride on...this is not a pity party.
When things are bad, we naturally wonder why they are bad. This leads us to think of when things were good and to wonder why they can't just stay that way. In our current state of woe, we come to realize how infrequently we experience something truly wonderful, and how fleeting that something tends to be. We dig through our memories and find that this seems to be mostly true. But why is it true?
Grab hold of one of those seemingly rare gems, when everything was right and perfect. How did that moment feel? Amazing, of course. More importantly, why did that moment end? Why was it soured? Without really thinking about it we'll say, "Nothing lasts forever," or that something or someone changed, the situation wasn't sustainable, 'life' happened, etc. What if we take a closer look?
Maybe this moment is unexpectedly landing a great job, or being immersed in a once-in-a-lifetime relationship. Everything is going perfectly. The job is challenging and rewarding; our lover exemplifies our ideal in every way--everything is wonderful and natural and easy; it just feels right. We are beside ourselves and wonder, "How can this be happening? Why do I deserve this," and then, "What if I lose it?" Doubt. Fear. We've been trained our whole lives to think that good things do not come easily and are fleeting. Struggle is the norm, so hold on to the good things as long as you can because they won't last. This creates a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Think about that amazing relationship. It felt unreal didn't it? It felt freeing, liberating, joyous, and above all, it felt easy and natural. This is our natural state--without fear--and it's glorious. But then we start to feel uneasy. What if I'm not ready for this? What if I screw this up? We begin to doubt ourselves. What if he's not what he seems? What if she changes her feelings? Fear creeps its way in, undermining our natural state. We begin to give less; resentment and suspicion may take hold of us. Finally our fear roots itself deeply in our minds and what happens? We connect less, we disagree more, we distance ourselves and it all falls down. London Bridge, my fair lady.
The same happens with the job. We may hit a bump in the road and start to doubt our ability. The fear sets in--What if I do the wrong thing? What if I can't handle the responsibility? What if I fail? Soon there are more bumps in the road, more doubt, more fear, until it seems all our fears are coming true. Are we prophets? Are we so well versed in the ways of the world that we can see the downfall coming? I'd like to check 'no' to both.
Could it be that we are manifesting the downfall simply by giving into our thoughts of fear and doubt? Is the belief itself, that all good things cannot last, the very thing that causes the good things to not last? Are we not the same people we were when things were wonderful? So why shouldn't things still be wonderful? The situation did not begin to change until our thoughts began to change; until we began to doubt and be fearful. There is a correlation. We've gone from giving our all and realizing great things to giving less for fear of failure and so realizing failure or mediocrity. What if, instead of doubting whether we're ready for a joyous situation, we loudly proclaim that we are ready, and we are worthy, and it can last forever? Sure, Bryan, sounds like a good ole time in Fairy Land, tra la la!
Or is it just simple, observable logic? I've come to realize that the moment we begin to fear, precisely that which we fear is set in motion. You can chalk this up to some cosmic force, be it God or the Law of Attraction, or whatever you choose, but I think the mechanism at work is more personal than that. It's as if we are willing our own mind and body to make it happen. When we convince ourselves a good thing is too good, or won't last, our subconscious makes absolutely sure that it is and it doesn't. We hold back, retreat, distract ourselves, or quit, to protect ourselves from the pain of failure or loss and then we look and say, "See, I told you it wouldn't work out." Instead of retreating in an effort to avoid a painful break further down the road, what if we stick with it, love relentlessly, and work on our faults and shortcomings within the positive, affirming and natural atmosphere we've managed to create (or stumble into)? Sounds like the logical choice, n'est-ce pas?
To most of us it still sounds like a fairy tale. Just like obtaining your dream job and keeping it is a fairy tale. Just like lasting passionate love is a fairy tale. But the fact that it is a fairy tale to us only illustrates the point further. We're trapped in this self-fulfilling prophetic belief that nothing good can last. That seems pretty grim doesn't it? So it's at least worth a shot to test the fairy tale, is it not? The next time something amazing comes along, grab it, claim it, and know that it's ours. We wouldn't have it if we didn't deserve it. when we hit a bump, see it for what it is; just a bump. Reject our doubts and try, love, give, receive, that much more fearlessly. See if we don't immediately recover and continue in the good times unscathed. If we look at our bag of memories from this angle we can see that all those little mere flashes of joy followed by disappointment had the potential to become sustained, truly wonderful times, if we had only let them. My apologies for the downer.
I know this all sounds like a bunch of self-help fluff--think positively and everything will be gee golly swell--and if you've read this far, I commend you, but I think it's more than that. It's a fundamental determining factor of our quality of life. What could possibly be more pressing? What underlies all of our negative experiences is fear. Test that statement. There's no question about it. Depression keeps hundreds of millions of people from reaching their potential and from being content, much less genuinely happy. What if we could eradicate depression simply by eradicating fearful thoughts? And I'm not talking about primal fear so let's keep the 'fear is essential for survival' discussion out of this.
Taking control of our own thoughts is not an easy task by any means, but it's also not insurmountable. I've been trying to 'walk the talk' so to speak for the past several weeks and have been met with both triumph and despair. When I've been able to hold my focus and sustain my resolve to live free of fear it's been spectacular, indescribable, easy and free. By the same token, when bumps in the road appear to me like towering mountains and I give into fear, the fall that follows is long and hard. It's very apparent to me that this is what causes the descent. I can recognize the point when my thoughts turn fearful and immediately afterward things do indeed start slipping.
It's a lot to take on, and it will be discouraging and hopeless at times, but it's worth it. So live fearlessly. Love fearlessly. Be fearless. And when it's wonderful, by God, let it be wonderful.
thank You and God bless
bryan
I have been struggling with issues of motivation, confidence, and self worth lately. I put this fact out there only as a basis for this train of thought you, the reader, are about to take a ride on...this is not a pity party.
When things are bad, we naturally wonder why they are bad. This leads us to think of when things were good and to wonder why they can't just stay that way. In our current state of woe, we come to realize how infrequently we experience something truly wonderful, and how fleeting that something tends to be. We dig through our memories and find that this seems to be mostly true. But why is it true?
Grab hold of one of those seemingly rare gems, when everything was right and perfect. How did that moment feel? Amazing, of course. More importantly, why did that moment end? Why was it soured? Without really thinking about it we'll say, "Nothing lasts forever," or that something or someone changed, the situation wasn't sustainable, 'life' happened, etc. What if we take a closer look?
Maybe this moment is unexpectedly landing a great job, or being immersed in a once-in-a-lifetime relationship. Everything is going perfectly. The job is challenging and rewarding; our lover exemplifies our ideal in every way--everything is wonderful and natural and easy; it just feels right. We are beside ourselves and wonder, "How can this be happening? Why do I deserve this," and then, "What if I lose it?" Doubt. Fear. We've been trained our whole lives to think that good things do not come easily and are fleeting. Struggle is the norm, so hold on to the good things as long as you can because they won't last. This creates a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Think about that amazing relationship. It felt unreal didn't it? It felt freeing, liberating, joyous, and above all, it felt easy and natural. This is our natural state--without fear--and it's glorious. But then we start to feel uneasy. What if I'm not ready for this? What if I screw this up? We begin to doubt ourselves. What if he's not what he seems? What if she changes her feelings? Fear creeps its way in, undermining our natural state. We begin to give less; resentment and suspicion may take hold of us. Finally our fear roots itself deeply in our minds and what happens? We connect less, we disagree more, we distance ourselves and it all falls down. London Bridge, my fair lady.
The same happens with the job. We may hit a bump in the road and start to doubt our ability. The fear sets in--What if I do the wrong thing? What if I can't handle the responsibility? What if I fail? Soon there are more bumps in the road, more doubt, more fear, until it seems all our fears are coming true. Are we prophets? Are we so well versed in the ways of the world that we can see the downfall coming? I'd like to check 'no' to both.
Could it be that we are manifesting the downfall simply by giving into our thoughts of fear and doubt? Is the belief itself, that all good things cannot last, the very thing that causes the good things to not last? Are we not the same people we were when things were wonderful? So why shouldn't things still be wonderful? The situation did not begin to change until our thoughts began to change; until we began to doubt and be fearful. There is a correlation. We've gone from giving our all and realizing great things to giving less for fear of failure and so realizing failure or mediocrity. What if, instead of doubting whether we're ready for a joyous situation, we loudly proclaim that we are ready, and we are worthy, and it can last forever? Sure, Bryan, sounds like a good ole time in Fairy Land, tra la la!
Or is it just simple, observable logic? I've come to realize that the moment we begin to fear, precisely that which we fear is set in motion. You can chalk this up to some cosmic force, be it God or the Law of Attraction, or whatever you choose, but I think the mechanism at work is more personal than that. It's as if we are willing our own mind and body to make it happen. When we convince ourselves a good thing is too good, or won't last, our subconscious makes absolutely sure that it is and it doesn't. We hold back, retreat, distract ourselves, or quit, to protect ourselves from the pain of failure or loss and then we look and say, "See, I told you it wouldn't work out." Instead of retreating in an effort to avoid a painful break further down the road, what if we stick with it, love relentlessly, and work on our faults and shortcomings within the positive, affirming and natural atmosphere we've managed to create (or stumble into)? Sounds like the logical choice, n'est-ce pas?
To most of us it still sounds like a fairy tale. Just like obtaining your dream job and keeping it is a fairy tale. Just like lasting passionate love is a fairy tale. But the fact that it is a fairy tale to us only illustrates the point further. We're trapped in this self-fulfilling prophetic belief that nothing good can last. That seems pretty grim doesn't it? So it's at least worth a shot to test the fairy tale, is it not? The next time something amazing comes along, grab it, claim it, and know that it's ours. We wouldn't have it if we didn't deserve it. when we hit a bump, see it for what it is; just a bump. Reject our doubts and try, love, give, receive, that much more fearlessly. See if we don't immediately recover and continue in the good times unscathed. If we look at our bag of memories from this angle we can see that all those little mere flashes of joy followed by disappointment had the potential to become sustained, truly wonderful times, if we had only let them. My apologies for the downer.
I know this all sounds like a bunch of self-help fluff--think positively and everything will be gee golly swell--and if you've read this far, I commend you, but I think it's more than that. It's a fundamental determining factor of our quality of life. What could possibly be more pressing? What underlies all of our negative experiences is fear. Test that statement. There's no question about it. Depression keeps hundreds of millions of people from reaching their potential and from being content, much less genuinely happy. What if we could eradicate depression simply by eradicating fearful thoughts? And I'm not talking about primal fear so let's keep the 'fear is essential for survival' discussion out of this.
Taking control of our own thoughts is not an easy task by any means, but it's also not insurmountable. I've been trying to 'walk the talk' so to speak for the past several weeks and have been met with both triumph and despair. When I've been able to hold my focus and sustain my resolve to live free of fear it's been spectacular, indescribable, easy and free. By the same token, when bumps in the road appear to me like towering mountains and I give into fear, the fall that follows is long and hard. It's very apparent to me that this is what causes the descent. I can recognize the point when my thoughts turn fearful and immediately afterward things do indeed start slipping.
It's a lot to take on, and it will be discouraging and hopeless at times, but it's worth it. So live fearlessly. Love fearlessly. Be fearless. And when it's wonderful, by God, let it be wonderful.
thank You and God bless
bryan
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